But it’s a binary solution set. You can also demotivate. Annihilate productivity. Repel others. Whip up a toxic environment.
It’s your choice.
As the author of one of the standard works on influence once wrote, ““Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, one by one.”
Our society was once generally known for its positive civility (taken from the larger noun, civilization, which means “an advanced state of human society, as by bringing out of a savage, uneducated or unrefined state”). Today’s overheated political and social environment happily embraces a decidedly different approach. Snarky resentment and incredulous self-righteousness often appear to be the “New Normal.”
Corrosive brain chemistry
In business and social settings, unrestrained sarcasm is the “go-to” dialect matched up with a liberal dose of dripping cynicism. And that’s not counting the twisted facial expressions that punctuate skeptical receipt of the latest perceived faux pas. Together it all makes for a herd-driven tidal wave of corrosive brain chemistry.
Common? Yes.
There is, of course, a terrible cost associated with all of this.
As the Harvard Business Review points out, the price of rude business behavior carves major chunks out of the bottom line. How?
- Creativity and productivity drop when people feel disrespected
- Customers tell 3,000 people just how bad you are (Nielsen Online)
- Brands suffer, even hemorrhage
- Productivity- and energy-sapping retaliation is common
- Key employees – the ones you can’t do without – get fed up and leave
- People “reward” their superiors with intentionally bad or incomplete work
- Avoidance behavior skyrockets
- The bottom line starts slipping for inexplicable reasons, even if the company has great products
The biggest issue of all? If we choose to be uncivil, or are forced to co-exist with rude, uncivil behavior, our brain chemistry can head south in a very bad way. Simon Sinek calls the main negative “The Big C.” C here stands for the steroid hormone cortisol. When we are threatened (real or perceived), our bodies instantly stimulate our adrenal glands to manufacture and flood our bodies with cortisol. The immediate response is accelerated metabolism, heightened blood pressure and a “fight or flight” stance.
To be sure, cortisol also plays an important role in human life. Wonder why sometimes you sit on the side of the bed immediately after awaking? As the complex eco-system that is your body switches from a dormant state to full-on mobile consciousness, it sometimes wants to tarries until your adrenal produce and flood your blood chemistry with propelling cortisol.
But too much cortisol — especially at inappropriate times – can elevate exhausting physical and emotional tension. We can inadvertently begin to trigger excessive cortisol production by reading stressful e-mails when we first start our day. Being the brunt of sarcastic comments and insulting behavior produce cortisol. Many commonly accepted behaviors are thinly veiled serenity killers, with racing hearts, contracting blood vessels and elevated blood pressure from perceived threats.
Cortisol-fueled behavior is contagious. A stressed out, cortisol-pumped co-worker terrifies the herd. More cortisol is produced. The productivity of the herd plummets. And flees. Or calls in sick.
Labeling it “the stress hormone,” Psychology Today calls cortisol “Public Enemy No. 1.”
The presence of cortisol produces feelings of anxiety. The more anxious we feel, the more cortisol is produced to “help” us flee. The more cortisol, the more anxiety. The more anxiety, the more cortisol.
Life in a pool of cortisol is vicious. Prolonged cortisol production lowers our immune system’s capacity to work properly. Wounds heal more slowly. Cortisol-drenched brains can’t sleep. They reach for medication or alcohol for relief.
Anger in rehearsal
Remember, when we engage in corrosive sarcasm that spawns and sustains polarization, we deliberately choose this way of life. Cortisol production and sarcasm are best friends. There’s a reason that sarcasm (which often reflects feelings of unresolved resentment) is described as “anger in rehearsal.”
When the herd mentality takes over, one sees an ominous outcome, where spiritual brothers and sisters begin reflecting a trait of the adversary, revealed as “the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night” (Revelation 12:10).
So what’s my point? The vast majority of productivity losses, managed human behavior, organizational upheaval and the like are directly related to the decline in overall civility.
And let’s be clear. We’re not talking about unsophisticated sentimentality.
We’re talking about respect. We’re talking about kindness. We’re talking about simple politeness. We’re talking about character.
Sara Hacala, author of Saving Civility, summed it up: “There is nothing productive about incivility, and the costs to us—individually, economically, and as a society—are astronomical.”
So what about you? Want to change the world?
Consider this remarkable fact. Our world is governed by what two researchers found to be the “Three Degrees of Influence Rule.” As they stated in their book Connected, “we influence and are influenced by people up to three degrees removed from us, most of whom we do not even know.”
So here’s the rub: don’t like these feelings of anxiety, depression and isolation? Don’t like how polarized we’ve become?
Influence the herd. Start a trend. BE CIVIL.
It’s that simple. But simultaneously (and perhaps paradoxically) it can be hard to do.
Once we’ve programmed ourselves – or probably better put, allowed ourselves to be programmed – to be sarcastic and corrosively insulting, it can become new pathways in our neutral nets.
So it will take effort.
But here’s the good news. Being civil has an immediate payoff.
When you treat people nicely, they often respond in kind. Suddenly, beginning with one person coming to his or her senses, the herd takes on a new emotional hue. It becomes attractive. It becomes more productive. It becomes fun. And surprisingly resilient.
Being civil promotes a dramatically positive change in brain chemistry. Want proof? Read the Harvard Medical Review report here. Or Google (or click on) these words and see for yourself: Endorphins. Serotonin. Dopamine. Oxytocin.
Like its counterpart, civility is contagious.
Being a civil leader is especially contagious. As a leader, you give permission to be nice. As a leader, you give people permission to reject uncivil or rude behavior. You yourself model positive civility and cancel out destructive resentment. Your bottom line – both personally and organizationally – improves.
So what are you waiting for? What are two kind things – two instances of civility – that you can practice right now?
As the ancient golden rule — spoken by Jesus Himself — remarkably records, “Do unto others as you have them do unto you” (Matthew 7:12).
So try out some civility and change the world. Today. Now.
By Michael Snyder
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